Wanderlust: October 2012

We are reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower in class.

Which everyone should read.

Which I will have a hipster moment and say,

I read this book a million times before it was going to be a movie.

Anyway not the point.

The point is that there is a quote
"We accept the love we think we deserve."

I think Eleanor Roosevelt said that.

And a girl in class raised her hand and said that she thinks the quote speaks volumes about the person accepting love.

I mean I get it that thats the whole point of the quote but it really got me thinking.

The love I allow to happen to me is the love I think I deserve.

I can be sad that people are shitty,

or I can take a step back and realize that to some extent I'm letting them be.

Yes some people just SUCK, but why do you not avoid them?

Why do you let the boy that cheats on you get another chance?

Or the boy that doesn't call but makes excuses

(he had a lot of work....every night... of every day...of every week)

I am all about forgiveness. But there is a fine line between forgiving someone for something and enabling someone to treat you poorly.

I know that this is common knowledge for most people, but this rocked my world. I think it's because I know it but haven't ever been able to follow through. I will give chance after chance after chance because things can be fixed. But lately I can see a difference. And this is something to be happy about.

Midterms are upon us. Put the dancing heels away and get out your study glasses folks!

Studybugs in the library with me tonight

Currently have a coffee buzz going on that should be forcing me to study bio flashcards, instead I find myself here. I'm okay with it though, I've been in the library every day this week and my brain needs a little break.

Things have been going really well lately. (knock on wood)

This week was kind of an eye-opener on how much work I have coming up,

but it's also reassuring to me that it can be done.

Well attempted, I'm not sure it can be done until I get the grades back

Confidence is key.

We were having a talk about introverts vs. extroverts the other day,

because in 109 we have discovered that I am very much the extrovert living with 3 introverts.

But it's not like one is bad and the other is better. It's about what energizes you.

Lately I am energized by the fall colors everywhere. The smell of the breeze that is saying goodbye to summer and a big hello to autumn. I'm energized by my sketchbook, my sneakers and ipod on a long run, the laughter of my roommates. I am energized by talking to kids about going abroad to Florence. I am energized by poems in my Creative Writing class. I am energized by trips to the packy with Jess and playing dress up and makeup before the bar with Sar. (At this point I am equally energized and exhausted by the bar.) One of my favorite things though is waking up the next morning, and Sar climbing down the bunk onto my bed and recapping the night. The parts we both remember best, or things that happened separately that we need to share. We've also taken to writing down the funnier things that have happened this semester in a little red book. I would say this has been my best semester here at this fine university. There's been a lot of laughing.

It's weird that if you think about it, these will all be memories. Sometimes that freaks me out. Like as something great is happening, I'm aware that in a couple weeks it'll be a good memory. And it's already October. When did that happen? Didn't classes just start? Oh no, we're at midterms. THE MIDDLE OF THE TERM. Which means its towards the end, which means spring semester which means graduating.

HOLD THOSE HORSES. Late night talks as of late have been future focused: who will you know, where will you be, what will you be doing. All I know right now is that I don't know. I have hopes and ideas, but if there is one thing this almost-22 years of life has taught me.... NOTHING is certain. You can be living your life happy as can be and then its rearranged infront of your face. And then it happens again. The things I do know for certain is that I am a smart capable human girl, I have a loving famjams and some pretty kick ass friends. I guess the rest will just have to fall into place.

How did I even get to talking about all this? OH RIGHT THE FOUR CUPS OF COFFEE.

Okay so pictures of lately......

This right here is why I love fall. Not only is October the very best month of the whole year, BUT CAN YOU LOOK AT THAT TREE. I learned in bio why it is those leaves do that, but since that was LAST exam we're just gonna focus on other things...